“Medicinal Love” by KillerCatZiller via Wattpad.com “Screaming Silence” (original poem with light editing)
Years ago I was asked “why do you need a boyfriend if you’re not constantly kissing up on his face?”
Years ago I didn’t have an answer.
To me, love was a word before its time; intimacy was a naively used term that was the premature word for what is now known
To me, it was ‘kiss me or miss me’
If you had me at all.
I didn’t know what tolerance was
I never heard of romantic patience
What did it mean to be in love, if “love” didn’t mean touch?
What was it to be romantic if you weren’t tangled in each other’s legs?
Years ago I didn’t know I would grow to find a new definition;
Years ago I didn’t know what I learned.
Years ago, I didn’t know why I wanted or needed a significant other
But that was years ago.
Time has trained me to believe that sleeping with scars is the definition of true love.
Pain has shown me that an hour long make-out session is not what romantic patience is.
“How can someone love you if you cannot love yourself” is a misunderstood and abused statement.
You love yourself through someone else.
That is why they are there.
Through another pair of eyes, you see how intricate your scars are
You see how much time was taken to stitch each one up
The definition of love is not “to be infatuated”;
To love is to be blinded from the physical, lusting only after the strengths and abilities of the mind
Of the heart.
Your soulmate is meant to weave perfectly with the layers of your innermost fears,
Curing your pain with each maneuver, with each pattern
Love is not sex-driven complement
Love is a metaphysical medicine;
Swallowed hard with each glance, made bitter with each struggle, with a spoonful of sugar added through every “I love you”
If you cannot reduce yourself to humbly be the perfect doctor of a terminally ill patient
You cannot know love.
Years ago, I was asked why I developed what I thought was a love interest
Years ago, I was just learning to spell love.
Now, I fluidly speak the language;
And years later,
“Love” will become a mother tongue.