Same Pencils, Different Books

Training myself into several schedules; trying to find a job; recovering from high school sorrows (aren’t we all); trying, hoping, and praying not to fail.

How am I? Exhausted.

The past thirteen years of my life were either handed to me, or helped tremendously. Suddenly, you’re put in this huge rink, all alone, no one else (there might be an ant in your corner or something). Time has become my enemy and it’s no better when you’re constrained to the sporadic scheduling of your landlords (a.k.a parents): enjoy planning out your entire weekend, involved in doing homework, it’ll change anyway. Er… maybe you’re luckier than me?

Here’s how it’s been.

I can’t say everything has been miserable, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve had things under control the whole time. Anyone who knows me knows I am thee worst opponent for stress, as I always lose — always. So, naturally, any escape from it, or triggers for it, is highly necessary. My first week is when Myrtle Beach came into play. I was hesitant but I went. It was nice to clear my mind before school kicked into full swing. In fact, things seemed to run smoother that week, easier within my thoughts. There have been my down moments, granted rather short, but they’ve been there. But I can feel myself capable of accomplishing more than I could prior to.

There is a certain appreciation to these past few weeks, to this transition. I feel lighter. My head feels more snug between my shoulders. My ankles don’t feel so locked. With this new chapter, I have been forced to learn certain skills that come with certain side affects that I wasn’t aware of until they kicked in. And I don’t mind this newness, I enjoy it. It’s a magical feeling to know you have gained some control over where your time is spent, even if you (er, I) may not have 100% control, half is better than none, so I’ll take it — even if that means accepting those sporadic plans…


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